Tuesday, July 29, 2003
(Continuing the "let's discuss the music that rarely gets discussed here" theme)
Joe's Top 5 80's Hair Bands
1. Lillian Axe - a melodic rock fan's wet dream, Lillian Axe never really had a hit, even though their albums were full of enough sexual innuendos and catchy hooks to make Ratt blush and scatter away in shame.
2. Poison - yup. The kings (or queens) of glam pop metal. Bobby and Rikki's degrees in hair styling and cosmetology came in handy when crafting the bands image, while CC's crunchy guitar riffs inspired tons of Aquanet abusers to pick up the guitar and raid their mothers' closet for wardrobe. Bret's abs were not an ugly sight, either.
4. Bon Jovi - still a viable band (except in Tom's eyes, I'm sure) churning out quality melodic tunes, Jon and the boys perfected the radio-friendly pop metal song format. With the aid of Miss Desmond Child's songwriting prowess, the Jersey gang ruled the airwaves - and cable signals - with the long-haired answer to Springsteen. While their hits were solid rock songs, there's a lot more to be discovered in album cuts like "Blood on Blood," "Dry County" and "If That's What It Takes."
4. Extreme - holding more talent in their pinkies than a lot of 80s bands combined, Extreme hit it big with the wrong song, the pussy-balladry of "More than Words." While a good song, it completely misrepresented the band and sold it to soccer moms, who were not ready for the funk metal that dominated their second album, Pornograffitti.
5. Danger Danger - with their "parping," airy keyboards and the Mickey Mouse-on-helium vocals of Ted Poley, D2 combined the sugary AOR of bands like Journey and Foreigner with the guitar pyrotechnics and sleaziness of the Sunset Strip. "Bang Bang" is as anthemic as hair metal gets.